Great things I have gotten to say as a parent (Part I)

Stop hitting each other with those! Radio controllers are NOT swords! If you want to sword fight, go downstairs and get some lightsabers, you have 6 of them...

It's been over a year since I wrote on here. So much has happened!

No.
No , not much has happened.

But people feel compelled to say that. Even when it's not true.
Especially if it's not true.

Any random thoughts I have had have all made it into the ether, just by way of Twitter and Facebook and not this blog.

Do I care? Well for some reason, yes. I do care. There is something to be said for collecting your thoughts in over 140 characters.

Kids can make you feel all gooey inside!

We were all out to lunch this week when my son sidled up to me, put his arm around me and told the table, "it's my best friend, daddy."

I immediately started crying.

The Wii Fit is a little bitch...

There are plenty of reviews of the Wii Fit that tell you the things that the user didn't like about the way it handled their Mii or how it is a little too Black and White about weight. But those reviews are flawed in the reviewers own self-perception. I have no misguidings or deluisions about myself. So here starts my review of that bitch in front of my TV.

First off, and most importantly:

I'm Fat.

That's why I bought a Wii Fit in the first place!
No one goes into the store and says
"I am a hardcore gamer and destroyer of n00bs! I am the King of pwnage in all things WoW and Halo! I have a full theatre setup with a full 1080p HDTV to see all the minutiae that geeks with more coding experience than I have hidden in the backgrounds. I am now going to buy a Wii (a standard definition video source) and a Fit in the hopes that I'll be able to one day walk through my favorite maps on the balance board."
It hasn't been documented but I am none the less sure it hasn't happened.

I bought the Wii because:
1. I like the Mario Games for my kids
2. I wanted to lose weight playing a game.

But I am honest with myself. I made my Mii avatar and when it came to body type, I cranked it up. This is where the Fit starts being an ass. If you have made your body skinny but you are clearly not, based on BMI, it automatically changes it. That can make someone feel like crap by itself. But this is a feature I just noticed... when you are "weighing in" it makes your Mii skinny again so when the BMI scale is shooting up, it can make your Mii fat again! So day in and day out of weighing in, you have to be reminded that you are a fatty. Nice. If the Fit had a face, I'd punch it.

Now... here's my sad part. On day 6 of my using the Fit, I put on weight. Well, according to the Fit, I did. I had a late dinner that night and didn't get a great workout in. I think If I had waited an hour, things would have "read" differently. But I found this out that night, when you put on weight, it asks you to "think about what you did since your last weigh in" and then gives you a bunch of choices. I told the truth and clicked on "I had a late snack" since that was the closest to the truth: I just ate dinner. When I backed out of the active user to get to the Wii Fit Plaza, I saw my "chart" behing my Mii and it was showing my weight gain right there. I rolled over the "up weight" log and was PISSED! My Mii bowed his head in shame and a thought bubble popped out that said "I ate a late night snack". If the Fit had a gut, I'd punch it.

Here's where I can agree with the "black and white", fat or not fat madness that is the Fit. As I said, I am fat. But as my doctor will tell you, "It's a double edged sword" I have extra weight on me. As such, I am in a constant state of exercise. I carry and move that weight all day. That makes all the muscles underneath the fat stronger. Muscle is heavier than fat. So I can lose fat and gain weight.
Yay!
I can really only lose weight by not eating. That's just me. But I can't really stop eating can I? So my battle becomes about portion control. Well that just plain hasn't kicked in yet. I can admit that. So I am taking in the same calories as before but am more active. I am doing the Yoga (surprisingly relaxing and stretching), I am doing the strength training (designed to build strong muscles), I am doing the aerobics (getting my heart rate up and shaking that bowl full of jelly) and I am doing the balance games (getting me shifting that mass of a man on my twinkle toes. All of this building this muscle up. Weighing me down more. The Fit doesn't accept that if you are already fat, things aren't going to go well at first. It's like cleaning a room out, it gets worse before it gets better. If the Fit had legs, I'd kneecap it.

But I will stay dilligent. I will play the games, I will run the course, I will stretch the muscles, I will do that god awful Plank exercise, I will Hula Hoop my gut off. But I will not look that balance board in the face until it makes my Mii skinnier.

The Curious Case of What the Hell Age Is He and Why Am I Crying Like This?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is just that, a curious tale of a man that ages backwards. It really is a beautiful movie about love through time. Now, it's not love through time like Orlando, The Red Violin or The Fountain. This movie really is a tale of true love: meeting the person in an awkward situation, trying to court them against others wishes, 2 people's lives taking different directions and then paths crossing again when they can actually be together. This is all just made more awkward by Benjamin being and old man to start with and being more age appropriate for his live only when they are in their 40s.

F Scott Fitzgerald's original short story is more of a commentary on people being born and dying in the same state: small, weak and simple. This film does the same but the visuals at the end are heart-wrenching. An elderly woman taking her 70-something husband for a walk in the body of a 2 year old, holding hands and leaning down to give a kiss made my heart explode. It made me, in one instant, miss my kids at home, pray that they never had to lose someone, miss my wife at home, pray that we stayed together forever and hope that it never comes to one of us taking care of the dimentia ridden other one. It's a beautiful movie that spans generations of looks and styles and tells a story of true love. Just take tissues.

the kids are testing me

It's nice when the teacher stops you to compliment your 4 year old's sense of humor.

It's another thing when she stops you to say "you are in charge. He is strong-willed, and smart. Make sure he knows you are in charge"

Oh crap.

Again, it's nice that others in positions of authority see that he is smart. But to warn me about it, that's scary.

But it also puts me on my guard and makes me questions whether or not that milk cup got knocked over or if he's getting revenge. I don't want to question my babies' motives. It's nice that they are smart enough to have motives but why can't I assume they are still innocent?

Just for a little while more, please.

Writing isn't just hard for me...

To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.
-Mark Twain