And what I realized was... Spiderman 3 sucked.
Yeah, this is a review that's like 362 days late. I know it. You know it. Stop reading if you want but I won't be long.
Tricia saw it opening night and I think I made it the next night or so.
I distinctily remember her saying, "it was alright but not great" and something to the effect of "too much going on."
When I saw it I actually disagreed with her. My arguement was "for having 3 villians and bridging the relationship with Peter Parker and Harry Osborn, it was really good."
I was wrong and here's how I know. I own the DVD and I don't really care to watch it again. I keep thinking that the story was really thin and I won't even be able to stay awake. Now I know I'll get to it eventually but I feel no rush.
This movie is truly the thrid in the series. That is to say, when a franchise gets settled in, they seem to go overboard. This isn't actually at all surpriseing. If a fillm has released and garnered 2 sequels, the audience, by now, knows what they are getting into. I think writers or, worse yet, producers think that at this poiint in the franchise, the story itseelf doesn't have to drive the film, just the grandeur!
So we know Peter Parker by now. He is super-smart, probably listens to Emo bands, is trying to make it all work (job, love, super-hero). But now in the next installment there is trouble i.e. the new villian. Well now, hold on. Spider-man had a samrt guy getting picked on in school, got powers, had to work through life, love and new super status. And he dealt with a badguy. That was made harder by it being his new best friends dad. Whoah. 3 parts drama and 2 parts action led to a $114 million open. $403 million domestic.
How do you top that? Spider-man 2 kept the formula because it worked, right. OK. Love drama, living with Uncle Ben's death drama, Harry Osborn getting nutty over dead dad drama... check, check and check. Doc Oc = action AND drama and then more action! It's perfect! RIght? A cautionary tale of power and ambition! And a $116 million open... but $373 million domestic.
Step 1. Blame internet pirates.
Step 2. Throw out formula that had critics raving that it was one of the best movies of the year and of all comic movies.
Step 3. Step it up.
Now, just shy of turning your friendly neighborhood Spider-man into a street dancer, revamping was done. Mostly in the formula. This time, 2 parts drama (Love is easy, guilt is cheap) Then an extra half part of drama (Harry Osborn wants to avenge father's death) but quickly turn that into action (New Goblin fights Spidey). Now the tricky part, add action but tell people it's drama. OK, enter new photographer and son of another character astronaught. And black ooze. Make black ooze turn not dramatic photog into overly actioned anti-spidey. And why the hell not, let's introduce another character that has no reason to be here right now and very little back story. Wait let's just make him the real killer of Uncle Ben. Then we can mask action as drama. PERFECT!
Then tie it all together in A CAGE MATCH! Here the cage is a construciton sight but we know how producers think. Or how they flip through channels and make writers stick things in.
This is actually a movie that if it were 2 movies, 1 with Venom and Harry and 1 with the Sandman, it woul dhave worked SO much better. But this was 2 tons of crap in a 1 ton bag.
So more than anything, I am saying, "Tricia, you were right"
Stay tuned as next week I hope to review "Barbarella".
Seriously.
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