Dude! That's my Crystal Skull!

Thanks to my crazy awesome wife and her pretty interesting work, we went to a screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull last night, Tuesday. Because of babysitting arangements and my own personal desire to see certain movies with certain people, I am also going tonight, Wednesday at midnight for the first public screening.

And the quickest way to review this movie is this, I have already seen it and I am looking forward to going!

This is a great movie! Now, caveat time, it's not Raiders. That movie is and forever will be the ultimate in Indiana Jones lore. But this is a quality film. Indiana is the rugged, smart, take-no-crap-from-the-bad-guys archaeologist that we have grown to love.
I am not going to give a breakdown of the events of the film because so much happens so fast that telling you what happens in the first 15 minutes will ruin the other 105. But I will say this, we open at area 51 and there is a point that we find out for sure that we have actually scene this space before.
Through madcap adventure, Indy gets tossed around the Nevada desert and eventually ends up in the not so protective grasp of some G-men. The most interesting part about this scene is that we find out several things that have happened over the 19 year gap. Most importantly, Colonel Jones was an early member of the OSS. I actually think that is very awesome.

Truly that little nugget just made me want more about the missing episodes! Temple of Doom actually takes place a couple years prior to Raiders. How I would love for Ford to dye his hair and shoot another Indy taking place a few years back.

This movie does play up the campiness of the '50s serial sometimes and left me wondering who really wanted that particualr gag in. Listening to Lucas, Speilberg and Ford talk up the need for a script that they coupld all agree on before rolloing makes me think that David Koepp had his hands tied sometimes. There are a few goofy moments but I think they all involve Shia LaBoeuf. And I am not prjudiced against him. Geez, I saw Holes. I like the kid. But the goofy things always involved him: swinging on vines, getting repeatedly hit in the crotch... I rest my case.

But for those things that are its flaws, it it still a solid film. There are a couple "A-ha!" moments in the presonal Indy stroy and the overall Crystall Skull story that would have actaully been "A-ha!" moments had the pesky interweb not gotten in the way. I won't confirm anything but if you have ready everything, there has been no disinformation.

The only part of the film that actually had me cringe was the last scene, too much is handed to the audience on a silver platter. It's as if they aren't sure whether on not there will be a fifth film and they don't want people e-mailing questions. OK, let the people have what they want. But don't get upset when we get upset. There are ways that this couold have been handled, granted in the first 20 minutes of the next film but, isn't it nice to leave the audience wanting more?

This is a wonderful summer film and a great addition to the tales of Indiana Jones. I can't wait for the Blu-Ray!

SPOILER BELOW
I leave you with this, the best part of the film: Mutt Williams never puts on the fedora.

She's got a ticket to ride and Hollywood don't care.

We the movie-going, popcorn-eating, Five dollar soda drinking public need to stand up to the producers of films and tell them once and for all, "I don't care what it cost and I don't care what it made."

What? What does this mean?

Riddle me this: What movie has had more people see it in the theatre than any other movie to date?
Trick question. It's really too hard to tell. Most people will tell you it's Gone With The Wind. But MGM hasn't kept the best of records. And then all the re-releases in theatre and on video are lumped in... and most people say "and tickets only cost a nickel!" Well in 1939 the average US ticket was 23 cents. So the best infor we have is that opening weekend: 4.1million people saw GWTW. And it did have a very long run in the theatres.

But how about now?

I think studios should report number of tickets sold, not gross revenue.
Wouldn't it actually help the studio in marketing? If 15million people see a movie in 3 days, doesn't that mean more than 100million in gross revenue? It does.

It does because many theatres in the US still have cheap tickets (read: the heartland) and many theatres have matinee prices still.

If you take 100million and divide it by the average ticket price in the US ($7) you get 14million+ tickets. But that doesn't take into account lower cost tickets where people might actually get to see two movies in the stix for the price of one in NYC and matinees where again, lots of money can be discounted. Just for grins & giggles, assume 1million people aren't getting counted in this recording method. Their money is but their voice isn't.
Wouldn't 1 million people be able to convince you of something, even if it was as trivial as seeing a movie?

The box office numbers are advertising. The studios aren't worried about making money back. Between the foreign markets and the HUGE DVD sales in the US, they always make their money back. It's almost impossible not to. There's a Punisher sequel in the can and the Golden Compass sequel is about to be greenlighted (not lit). Did you see those doing huge numbers? No. Hell, the Punisher movie had a Special Edition DVD and then a Director's Cut DVD with a newly animated opening sequence added! They don't throw money at something that doesn't throw it back! And DVD throws back. But I digress.

The total amount of money the movie has made is supposed to attract you to see the movie. A sort of: "How could this many people be wrong?" Well wouldn’t that number be just as impressive if we knew exactly how many people that was?
Couldn’t it also help movies? Take, for instance, kids movies. How many kids are really at the 10PM show? Not many. But they are piled up in the early shows, many of which are discounted. Or at least the kids tickets are. The studios are selling themselves short on these! If a kids ticket is 25-30% off the adult ticket, they are shorting themselves in 25-30% of bandwagon advertising!

And the best part is... Total Ticket Sales never have to be adjusted for inflation! The ticket prices are just going to go up. Someday a crappy movie that barely anyone saw is going to surpass Titanic. But the tickets were $100 each. Matinee.

Oh holy crap don't even start me on these supposed "luxury movies" where it's going to be $30-$45 a ticket but you get a waiter and reserved seat. How is that going to play into revenue charts?

I am Iron Man and you should be, too!

I saw Iron Man on opening night. Katie and I went out for dinner with Todd and Marilee and had a great night.

But this wasn't a "sum of the whole evening" I loved the movie, this was a "Sweet merciful crap, this is an amazing experience" movie.

By now, everyone knows the premise of the movie. Billionaire Tony Stark is an industrialist who has made the bulk of his fortune just as dad did, weapons manufacturing for the US Government. After showing off his latest invention, the "Jericho Missle" to an Army R&D battalion in Afghanistan, the convoy gets attacked. It turns out, attacked with Stark Industries weapons.

But Tony is hit hard. Hard with shrapnel in the chest. When he awakens in a mountain cave, he has a car battery hooked up to his chest and a roommate. He explains that the battery is powering an electromagnet that holds the shrapnel in place and prevents it from causing Tony a coronary.

Tony and his new friend, Yinsen, are charged by their captors with building a Jericho missle for them-Yinsen acting as translator and assitant. Tony agrees to save their lives but begins by building himself a miniturized arc reactor to power his heart and hold the shrapnel. He then plans the construction of the Mark I armor. Tony busts out and returns home.

But all this has changed Tony. He has a new perspective on life and decides to take his company in a new direction. No weapons. Of course, this pisses off lots of stockholders and board members, including his right hand man, Obidiah Stane. Shortly, Stark is removed from the board. But all the while he plays in his basement shop building the Mark II and Mark III armor with the hopes of creating something that he can right the wrongs he has done and stop the spread of insurgents, militias and all those that hurt others for their own gain.

This is your typical origin story for modern times. I say that because movies like Batman Begins and Spider-man have really upped the ante on the origin movie. Iron Man holds strong. We are given a man and shown his many flaws. We are given a life altering situation that he triumphs over. We are given a quest to find out who he is now and what it means to him. And in the end we are given a villain that only he is now equipped to deal with. But it all WORKS. And the only reason it works is: Robert Downey, Jr. is one charming guy.

There was talk of hiring an unknown. And there was talk of hiring a younger actor. But Tony Stark is a guy that is well into his career. That's why it works. Yes, he is the teen genius that graduates early form MIT. The story could have picked up there or 10 years from there and we could have had some 20-something playing the role. But Downey works because he has a lot of life under his belt as Stark does.
One of the themes of the original comic series is Stark's alcoholism and how he overcomes it. There is even a point where he stops being Iron Man and Jim Rhodes has to take over. (now do we understand the "Next time, baby!" scene from the movie?) Robert Downey, Jr. has had a well documented fight with drug and alcohol abuse. And has been priviledged his whole life. So has Stark. Downey brings a realism to the character that is a breath of fresh air. When I watched The Punisher, I had to tell myself to suspend my disbelief for the first 10 minutes because I couldn't buy into Thomas Jane right away. When I watched Spider-man for the first time, I saw the Wonder Boys kid on screen at first (that one was easier to fall into). But when I watched Iron Man, Tony Stark came on screen. Downey didn't have to fit into the role, he put it on like a comfortable leather jacket. For all it wear and tear, it fit well and he knew where all the pockets were and witch ones still had a lining. He is tony Stark.

The best thing about this movie is that it isn't an effects movie. My newest hero, Jon Favreau, is a man after my own heart. He likes to shoot practical as often as possible. Now, are there effects, you bet your bippy there are. But they never detract from the scene. They are tools to help the director expand what he visualizes, not the reason the movie was getting made. This isn't the "let's come up with a loose plot to tie these crazy effect scenes together" tentpole that some studios put up.

This is a great movie that handles the origin story superbly and is wrought with wonderful performances. Do yourself a favor and see this in the theatre. 5/5

Patricia Townsley was Right. Damn it all.

I have been thinking about it to some degree for a long while.
And what I realized was... Spiderman 3 sucked.

Yeah, this is a review that's like 362 days late. I know it. You know it. Stop reading if you want but I won't be long.

Tricia saw it opening night and I think I made it the next night or so.
I distinctily remember her saying, "it was alright but not great" and something to the effect of "too much going on."

When I saw it I actually disagreed with her. My arguement was "for having 3 villians and bridging the relationship with Peter Parker and Harry Osborn, it was really good."

I was wrong and here's how I know. I own the DVD and I don't really care to watch it again. I keep thinking that the story was really thin and I won't even be able to stay awake. Now I know I'll get to it eventually but I feel no rush.

This movie is truly the thrid in the series. That is to say, when a franchise gets settled in, they seem to go overboard. This isn't actually at all surpriseing. If a fillm has released and garnered 2 sequels, the audience, by now, knows what they are getting into. I think writers or, worse yet, producers think that at this poiint in the franchise, the story itseelf doesn't have to drive the film, just the grandeur!

So we know Peter Parker by now. He is super-smart, probably listens to Emo bands, is trying to make it all work (job, love, super-hero). But now in the next installment there is trouble i.e. the new villian. Well now, hold on. Spider-man had a samrt guy getting picked on in school, got powers, had to work through life, love and new super status. And he dealt with a badguy. That was made harder by it being his new best friends dad. Whoah. 3 parts drama and 2 parts action led to a $114 million open. $403 million domestic.

How do you top that? Spider-man 2 kept the formula because it worked, right. OK. Love drama, living with Uncle Ben's death drama, Harry Osborn getting nutty over dead dad drama... check, check and check. Doc Oc = action AND drama and then more action! It's perfect! RIght? A cautionary tale of power and ambition! And a $116 million open... but $373 million domestic.

Step 1. Blame internet pirates.

Step 2. Throw out formula that had critics raving that it was one of the best movies of the year and of all comic movies.

Step 3. Step it up.

Now, just shy of turning your friendly neighborhood Spider-man into a street dancer, revamping was done. Mostly in the formula. This time, 2 parts drama (Love is easy, guilt is cheap) Then an extra half part of drama (Harry Osborn wants to avenge father's death) but quickly turn that into action (New Goblin fights Spidey). Now the tricky part, add action but tell people it's drama. OK, enter new photographer and son of another character astronaught. And black ooze. Make black ooze turn not dramatic photog into overly actioned anti-spidey. And why the hell not, let's introduce another character that has no reason to be here right now and very little back story. Wait let's just make him the real killer of Uncle Ben. Then we can mask action as drama. PERFECT!

Then tie it all together in A CAGE MATCH! Here the cage is a construciton sight but we know how producers think. Or how they flip through channels and make writers stick things in.

This is actually a movie that if it were 2 movies, 1 with Venom and Harry and 1 with the Sandman, it woul dhave worked SO much better. But this was 2 tons of crap in a 1 ton bag.

So more than anything, I am saying, "Tricia, you were right"

Stay tuned as next week I hope to review "Barbarella".

Seriously.